I have found over the years that sounds can mean so much. They can be loud like thunder or soft as a the sound of keys being set on a counter….
Today I am posting a blog post that isn’t typical or normal for someone in my “line of work”. In fact some business guru’s may say that this is a business killing post, but today I don’t care. If you read this and are turned off to me and my business it’s ok. You see I am a passionate person…whether it comes to being a mother, a wife, a friend or photographer, I dive whole hearted into my life and all the aspects of it. I believe one person can make a difference everyday. Today I hope that my heavy heart and sharing why may open someone’s eyes to the “other side” of the story the media doesn’t cover and remind you to LIVE today.
There is a fine line with sharing information on social media in this world. I try not to “share” too much, but try to let me people know who I am ahead of time to see if I am a good fit as their photographer. I have many job titles in my life: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, volunteer firemen, photographer and so many more. I also wear the title of “Police Officer’s Wife”.
It really doesn’t sound that important to many and truthfully it’s not. I’m not the one who puts on a bullet proof vests that has my blood type written on it in my handwriting so that if I’m shot doctors will know it. I’m not the one that deals with people who don’t want to be dealt with everyday. I don’t search for people in the dark, witness horrific deaths or be the one to break the news to families of unimaginable loss. I not the one that does my job daily, because it is my job to keep people safe, and then be criticized for doing it, or better yet not being there fast enough when it needs to be done. I’m not the one who sees young children neglected or living in the poorest of conditions. I’m not the one that people despise to see, spit or swear at. I am not the one who works 8 hour, 12 hour or sometimes 16 hour shifts. I’m not the one that if there is a mass critical incident will be gone with a phone call. I’m not the one who misses family outings, events, first days of school, holidays or stays up all night long…nope that’s not me. That is my husband and every other police officer, sheriffs deputy or state trooper in this great country we live in. I am proud and am full of pride that he, along with many other officers, do what they do day in and day out to keep all of society safe.
Last Thursday morning started like a normal day. I woke up and started laundry, fed the dogs and started packing lunches. Before the kids came down stairs I took a quick peak at my Facebook as I do some mornings. I then saw the post after post about a Rochester Police Dept. officer being shot. That’s when the “feeling” returned, like it does EVERY time an officer is killed in the line of duty-a weaknesses in the knees accompanied by what feels like a punch in the stomach and tears in the eyes. I quickly put my phone down and purposefully continued on in my morning routine to try not to let what I just saw get to me as I wanted to have a happy environment for the kids to get ready for school. This was a defense tactic on my part as I didn’t let myself get into the situation yet because I know the emotions it would stir. My husband walks in and says “What?!” he takes one look and knows something has happened. I quickly tell him and instantly our minds go to our friend that is an RPD officer. As I’m doing the “Are your sneakers in your backpack” routine with the kids getting them ready for school…my mind races. “If it was our friend we would have heard….right? Maybe not? OMG, his son is the same age as our daughter….OMG.” These are the thoughts going through my mind. I quickly text our friend’s wife to make sure he is safe, and thankfully he is. She thanks me for the text and responds with “I know you understand how hard this will be.”
We returned home from taking the kids to school and both my husband and I immediately turn on the tv and start scanning the internet for information. I am saying some prayers to myself in my head “please don’t let him have kids, please don’t let him have kids.” There isn’t much information yet, but a press conference is scheduled in a few hours. My husband heads off to work and I say a quick prayer, like I always do, “Please God watch over him and bring home alive and whole.” I hate when he leaves for work, but some days are harder than others, Thursday was hard.
I watch the press conference at 11:30 and more details are released. The man on the TV says that Officer Daryl Pierson was his name. “He leaves behind a wife and two small children ages 4 and 3 months.” I sigh a “No.” to myself as the feeling of being punched in the stomach happens again. I text my husband and think how his babies will never remember him. Oh my gosh. Facts continue to come from the TV as I text “The shooter, who was also shot, was released from jail just 3 weeks prior.” What?!? How is this happening? “Officer Pierson watched his son go off to kindergarten earlier that day”, I pray that little boy remember every detail of that day. “Officer Pierson had been off work since January do to an injury at work and the same day he took his son to school was only his 2nd day back to work since January.” Officer Pierson received numerous awards for removing illegal guns off the street and now he’s dead, most like from an illegal gun. I stand in my kitchen and feel devastated for people I have never met…but I know them.
You see I know their life. I know what it’s like to get a party invitation and see that your husband is working and you will attend it alone with the kids. I know that at the party someone will tell you about a speeding ticket they got and how the cop what a jerk. You see when someone in your family is a LEO (law enforcement officer) it changes things. Over the years I have learned that many predict our children will be the worse kids in town “being that their dad is a cop, they will get away with everything”. (and yes people say these things to us) I have learned to pay close attention to cars that slow in front of the house and even turn around in the driveway. I visually note the make and model just in case it’s the man that my husband arrested years ago for drunk driving and thanked my husband for ruining his life. I wonder if that is his car watching us? I have learned to lock all doors and windows every night before going to bed and always turn on the security alarm for fear of someone seeking revenge. I sleep alone…a lot. I hate it. Most nights my husband works I stay up til I am exhausted so it’s easier to fall asleep. I feel guilty for sleeping when I know he is awake and working. I know if he gets hurt while working they will call me, but if a police car comes to the house I know it is really bad or the worse. I also have promised myself and thought through many times how I will handle myself if that happens so that my children won’t have the memory of me falling apart in addition to their world falling apart. I’ve thought about how I will do it, how I will hold it all together if something should happen to him….and every time I do I come to the same conclusion… I can’t. I know that when he leaves for work I kiss him and try to remember what he smells like and insist our children all hug and kiss him good bye…just in case. I hate when the children are naughty and require discipline before he leaves for work….I pray this won’t be their last memory of him. I know that you never wash the bedding on a day or night he is working because if something should happen I will need his pillow to smell like him. I know that when he asks about taking an overtime shift I will worry that it will be the shift he didn’t have to take but took for extra money and if it will be the shift he crosses paths with a desperate soul? I know that the possibility of him being severely hurt is always there. I worry about his health from lack of sleep and have seen him finish a 12 hour shift and then stay up for our children’s events. I hate when I speak to my husband on the phone when he is working and the call is abruptly ended with a “I got to go” and a click on the other end. The thoughts that can run through the mind are dangerous. We don’t watch the news as a family, I worry about what could come on the news that our children could see about LEOs. They know that daddy deals with bad people but that he also helps others that need help. They know…but they don’t know. When they ask if he will be ok…I always say yes even though I don’t know. I know how when he is 10 minutes late from returning from work you start to wonder. I know that Officer Pierson’s wife and family experienced everything I just mentioned. This is why the law enforcement community refers to themselves as family because the life we live is only one that can be understood by someone living it also. Not only are our spouses on duty, but we are on duty too.
As adults we know that life has no guarantees, we could be killed in a car accident or have a health crisis any minute. We can’t live with that fear or we won’t live. For LEOs and their spouses that reality of a life altering incidents is always a little more a possibility than most. Thankfully we continue to live and love a little harder because we know that every minute, hour and day is a gift.
I don’t want sympathy from others about the life that my husband and I chose when he became a LEO. We chose this and knew the risks, the highs and the lows. I just want understanding for all Law Enforcement Officers and their families. We don’t spend every hour worrying and wondering what will happen, we live! But understand when someone is taken in the line of duty, especially so close to home, it is very hard. I am sure that I am not alone as a sponse of LEO feeling this way. All the worry we have and tuck in the back of our minds comes to the front of minds shouting and screaming demanding our attention when an officer is killed. I always find these situations are so much harder on me than my husband because he accepted a long time along that this is part of the job. It still hits hard though for me to know that another officer’s spouse and children lost their officer. Maybe it’s the fear of how you live after this happens that makes these times so difficult?
The mayor of Rochester asked members of the community to THANK officers when they see them for their service. I love her suggestion and I hope it happens not only now but for weeks and months to come. I would also like to suggest thanking the parents, the spouses and the children who also live the life of being part of a LEO’s career. Just understand and respect is all the families need. Just an appreciation and understanding that when a tragedy, like with death of Officer Pierson happens, it does effect our families. I think every parent was effected by Sandy Hook shootings when that tragedy happened. The death of any officer has the same effect on LEO’s families. It forces us to think a little more than we should or want to.
Today I ask you to pray. Pray for Daryl Pierson’s family…his wife, his children, his parents and siblings. Pray for the RPD family, this impacts them all in ways you can’t begin to understand. Pray for all law enforcement officers, I know they aren’t all perfect, but they are still risking it everyday. Pray that society brings back some RR to world….Respect and Responsibilty. Teach your children to RESPECT OTHERS and BE RESPONSIBLE for THEIR actions. I challenge you to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Pay it forward. Be the change.
Today our family will keep living…and praying. Praying for all those involved in this tragedy and pray for no more tragedies. Today I will enjoy the sounds of my children giggling with their father and we will enjoy our family time. I will always cherish the sound our dogs barking when he returns home and the sound of my husband’s keys hitting the counter when we returns from his shift.
Take pictures today with your cell phone, another photographer, I don’t care. LIVE! Create memories and cherish every sound that comes with those memories.
Today Officer Pierson is being laid to rest. His duty is over and he may rest now. I hope that Officer Pierson’s death will inspire someone somewhere to be an Law Enforcement Officer to make a difference. Today his wife’s duty is over as well. Her life is forever changed but she will never be alone. I know that the RPD family and the law enforcement family will always be there for her. The law enforcement family is strong. Her life changing event will not be without some good. We have watched the city of Rochester unite and lift this family up. Businesses have given so much and people have opened their homes for LEOs to stay to attend the funeral today. Although this tragedy is only the death of one man, the tons of acts of kindness that came from it can’t be counted. And he will not be forgotten in his community.
Today I challenge you to LIVE. Be proud in how you live your life and make a difference like Officer Pierson did both in life and death.
